We talk about “abandonment to God” as if we were giving up something that belongs to us, something we have earned – and our fallen nature does perceive some loss. We cling so vehemently to these shreds we consider so valuable, these handfuls of gravel that appear to our unseeing eyes as precious stone to be retained at any cost.What then, when our blindness is cured?

Then we grin at the self that once clung to handfuls of rock in the same way we grin at the memory of our childhood arguments over toys. We wonder what all that intensity was about. A yo-yo?

We see at last that we are not abandoning ourselves when we give ourselves to You – we are only abandoning our fistfuls of worthless stone and FINDING ourselves under the rubble. Our abandonment loses its negative dimension altogether; we no longer see this as what we “give up” or “forego” for You, but rather what we EMBRACE for love of You. Self-denial becomes gift-of-self, and the focus is no longer on saying “no” to ourselves, but on saying “yes” to You. And our "letting go" becomes our receiving, our giving comes back to us, as it always does.

But how many of us are capable of a “yes” that is strong enough to embrace all You want for us, a “yes” that will not hesitate at each decision, a “yes” that isn’t tempted to be withdrawn with each pain, a “yes” that isn’t forgotten in the thousand interactions of the day, a “yes” that doesn’t waver when fatigue clouds the mind and drains the body – a FIAT like Mary’s that can save the whole world?

Give us the grace of ever-YES!

But this takes perfect love. It’s all about love, all about You. Your love WITH us, FOR us, IN us, THROUGH us, reaching toward others through our “yes.” If we could keep present in our minds the truth that we come FROM Your love are SAVED BY Your love, are made FOR Your love, to RECEIVE Your love, to GIVE Your love, to be FILLED with the UTTER FULLNESS of Your love, we would say “yes” to Your grace. And grace is Your love.

Our lives might be punctuated with ordinary and even extraordinary manifestations of Your grace, but all that matters is our “yes” to that grace. If we are not impelled toward greater love, then the experience is meaningless for us, for surely You invite us to greater generosity, a bigger “yes,” a more profound indwelling…

This is my only way to judge – am I more in love with Love?
Nothing else matters.