As much as I'd like to dig deeper into Mary and myrrh, we've got three more sonnets to go to finish up these "Seven Sonnets Through the Dark." So, here's a new one to ponder:
In nocte consilium
(the night brings counsel)
“I rise before the dawn and cry for help, I hope in your word.
My eyes watch through the night to ponder your promise.” Psalm 119
On this craggy precipice, hope-bare heart in hand,
Gazing east through arid pathlessness,
I brace my battered faith in Promised Land
With touchstones of Your love and changelessness.
We must be freely emptied to be filled,
And a ruptured heart’s capacity’s increased;
Our hearts furrowed for mercy by acceptance of our guilt,
As darkness defines light and fasting feast.
I peer beyond familiar stone into the endless space
That is Your love, and all that’s good and just,
And I know the proving desert is sheer grace –
From the cliff I freefall empty-handed, and I trust.
When our orientation to earth we release,
we are oriented to Heaven, and we find peace.
posted by KathrynTherese at 3:03 PM
80 Comments:
This beauty also could sum up our thoughts on the eves following 9/11/01, yes?
There have been so many worsts in my life, that I tried again and again to prepare for them. I finally learned one important fact. We are vulnerable. Even the earth itself can be poisoned; it need not melt down nor explode nor implode in order to stop providing/maintaining adequate means of life for human beings.
That attitude is not defeatist, but practical. All was made in/with/through and for Love, absolutely! But the fact is, we weren't made to spend an eternity here.
We can safely let go, and die into His life now, so that when the time comes for the body to follow the soul, our departure will have always been a going toward Him, and cannot cause us undue stumble in a hard time.
Such are the last words of all saints, even when we hear them not. They are their first words, too, which we benefit from: "Come, Lord. I trust in Thee."
Oh, this one's just jam-packed, isn't it? What jumps out at me right away is the dilation of the heart, actually to the point of being ruptured, and the heart being prepared to absorb mercy through humility. There's so much here, but just to scoot down, the free-fall...to a woman with vertigo, just reading that and visualizing it causes shortness of breath. Oh, I would much rather climb the mountain than free-fall empty-handed.
I'd just like to share something, in ref to Gabrielle's comment that this is "jam-packed." It IS. They all are. In the depths of this darkness, one of my wise spiritual directors (are you watching, Padrecito?) said to me very directly, "I want you to write a poem about what you are experiencing. Write down what is going on."
And I thought, "Wrap this in words? I can barely see." But I tried to obey. And a few weeks later I said that I didn't think I could fit it all into one poem. I thought it would have to be several. "Do what you have to do; just write it down." So I did. And there were seven, which seemed right, seven being the biblical number of "completeness."
So, yes, each one is packed with a particular element, a certain facet of the darkness we feel, and its effects. And here, in desolation, lost and groping, we try to remember the fervor of our faith, to convince ourselves that what we know to be true is still true. But it is painful. We are being stripped bare, our hearts expanded for Him by the ache of seeing ourselves in truth.
We are still able to remain where we are, if we so choose; we can choose "familiar stone" and move no closer to Him, but we can see that the unknown to which we are drawn is indeed a better place. And then we glimpse that these difficulties are necessary to get us there. We must cross the desert to get to the Promised Land, as it were.
But it is disorienting. There are no landmarks. There is nothing to hold onto except what we believe to be true. It is like freefalling (and I have vertigo too, in both the physical and spiritual realms!). We have to let go of all we know in order to find ourselves at home in the "Cloud of Unknowing."
The "touchstones" of the Lord's Love - testing our faith, testing our love, measuring them for purity?
"touchstones" = the things we know beyond doubt, by which we can measure these things we cannot comprehend.
We use the unshakeable to "prop up" what is being shaken to the core, as it were.
Have I clarified this? A headcold is making me more obtuse than ever ;-\
Oh, I hope you have those extra-soft, puffy tissues; I hide a box in the linen closet for this very reason. But if you're still awake, come on over to the haven for a few minutes if you can. There's a little get-together, and we don't mind if you sound all stuffed up.
KT, I have been to visit this page many times in the past few days. The line that intrigues me most is: "When our orientation to earth we release,
we are oriented to Heaven, and we find peace. "
I can't find the words to explain what I feel but I just wanted you to know that it touched me deeply. Thanks.
FMN, it is good for a writer to hear that something that moved them enough to wrap in words also moved someone else. Because we are encouraged by the encouragement of one another to keep doing what we feel driven to do.
So, thank you for your thank you.
It seems to me that you can almost sense by the way a person walks and talks whether they are oriented to heaven or earth, and that we are drawn to people who have an "other-worldly" orientation. Case in point: my sister was married a week ago, and a lot of people we had never met before made a point to come to my husband and I to comment on our family, etc. One person said to me, "Your whole family is really nice and I like your sister a lot, but there is something about you; I feel like an immediate bond with you. What is that?" I almost giggled out loud because people say almost those exact words to me so often it's like a running gag - "there's something about you." I have no response to that, except that it must be grace. It is certainly nothing in me. It's Him. He always draws people to Himself, and sometimes He uses us.
If we allow Him to. He wants us to share in His work of saving others, drawing others, teaching others! He has no need of us, and yet He wants to share His victory with us. We only need to be generous with ourselves, to be willing to pour ourselves out for them, and we can share in this work of redemption. What a privilege and a joy! He shares everything with us, if we give everything to Him.
Amen.
:-) And I'm sure that FMN is no stranger to those moments of 'recognition' from others.
Love. It's Love that shows up on a face. Love is always Him, even if we don't know it or believe it--yet is made visible only on the willing.
For me, love shows up best in person. Immediate efficacy, no inventorying (nor agonizing). There's nothing to question in kneeling before someone with hot soapy cloth in one hand, and an old or paralyzed foot in the other.
It's not easy to live Heaven more than we live earth, FMN, as you know, but souls hinge upon that.
Dear kt, welcome back from your vacation, and thanks for stopping in before you left; hope you're feeling better now.
What you say about "choosing familiar stone" and moving no closer to Him - it seems to be where many people find themselves, unable to move beyond their comfort zone. Whether they are simply not drawn to the unknown, or whether they are but are too afraid, or whether they have never caught a glimpse of the "Promised Land" and so do not know what to move forward towards, it is a very sad situation. That is one reason why I think it is so necessary to read about the contemplative life, and write about it as well, as you do, to help people see that there is something, there is much, awaiting them beyond the "comfort zone".
You are right, Gabrielle - the unknown is so unknown that it is almost unknowable, and unless we are encouraged by others' experience or knowledge or prayers to keep going when the going gets tough (and it does get tough - God's will can be very demanding), we will only remain within our comfort zone, within reach of "familiar stone" (stone being so solid, so knowable). But of course, God calls us to so much more.
Don't you love technology? We are not yet home from vacation. I am actually typing this while we drive, courtesy of Cingular wireless. The new way to keep in touch ;-)
In the car??? I can barely get the wireless to function in the house. I'm so tired of seeing that little message that says I have limited or no connectivity. I'm afraid I take it too personally.
Ha! Until we take none of it personally, we will get nowhere, Gabrielle!
It is a frustration. Truth be told, this mobile wireless works better than my Internet at home. But it is a small sliver, eh? Still. I consider it the price I pay to live away from the crowd on ten quiet acres. My life is good. But it is not fast!
But our culture has redefined speed and it is no longer natural, I think. Darkness defines light, fasting defines feast, and who defines speed? Whoever your ISP is. The sun and our legs (how far can you travel in a day on those things?) used to define time for us, but no more.
Less is more; slow is better.
Less is more; slow is better.
Hmm..so a laid-back vegetarian is not a bad thing?
Gosh, the whole world of technology always moves too fast. Just as my Smith-Corona became electric, everyone else had gone Selectric. We just found my husband's transistor radio in its real leather case, and compared it to an iPod (he says, "But it was more fun to try to get a good station in.."). I've finally stopped answering everyone ("Huh?") talking on cells around me, but ear bud thingies, too unnoticeable unless the lighted kind, leave me wondering if this or that poor soul should be wandering around the mall alone.
Yesterday I checked out animated fractals (gosh, I can't remember what they're called) but one was a paisley-people design that went inward and inward revealing always the same paisley-people design going inward and inward. Whew, Cyber Fractal Torture. My TV isn't even DVD-ready, let alone HD. Cripe, I'm still trying to get used to caliper brakes on bikes.
I'd like to take a nap, now.
Gotta be careful, you can fracture your eyes on a fractal...:-)
Does anyone here remember the days when you were not supposed to stand or sit too close to the tv because it emitted "rays"? So what do we do nowadays? Sit in front of a computer screen for hours...
And we wonder why so many people are getting sick. I do believe we are bombarded by invisible "rays" like the ones coming from Atomic bombs occasionally being tested (when it was on our own soil, nobody really protested about it). All that junk has never left this earth and we are paying the consequences for it.
38Y885 write more, thanks.
actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.
Hello all!
actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.
Thanks to author.
Thanks to author.
Nice Article.
Magnific!
Magnific!
Thanks to author.
actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.
actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.
Hello all!
Magnific!
Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!
actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies
Wonderful blog.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
All generalizations are false, including this one.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Nice Article.
Hello all!
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Good job!
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg.
Please write anything else!
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Good job!
Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies
C++ should have been called B
Hello all!
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies
C++ should have been called B
What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Save the whales, collect the whole set
Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg.
Clap on! , Clap off! clap@#&$NO CARRIER
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
Post a Comment
<< Home