With no introduction necessary, I think, here is the third sonnet from “Seven Sonnets Through the Dark” –
In tenebris
(in darkness)
“Cloud and darkness are His raiment…A fire prepares His path.” Psalm 97
Bereft of light and rock I yet hold fast
To the finest outstrung thread of what defined me.
I know this turbid umbra cannot last
And espy the burning tears and sand behind me.
I long to have the grace of ever-yes,
But it takes heroic effort just to hold,
Encinctured with the sins I’ve oft confessed
And all the doubt and shadow yet untold.
Yet deep within the blaze of secret fire
Which guides His sheep beyond this self bedim,
The flame He set on earth still burns, inspires
Those He’s called to come and follow Him.
All that once was gain I count as loss;
The only way through darkness is the cross.
In tenebris
(in darkness)
“Cloud and darkness are His raiment…A fire prepares His path.” Psalm 97
Bereft of light and rock I yet hold fast
To the finest outstrung thread of what defined me.
I know this turbid umbra cannot last
And espy the burning tears and sand behind me.
I long to have the grace of ever-yes,
But it takes heroic effort just to hold,
Encinctured with the sins I’ve oft confessed
And all the doubt and shadow yet untold.
Yet deep within the blaze of secret fire
Which guides His sheep beyond this self bedim,
The flame He set on earth still burns, inspires
Those He’s called to come and follow Him.
All that once was gain I count as loss;
The only way through darkness is the cross.
posted by KathrynTherese at 4:13 PM
90 Comments:
Not only does the fire guide and inspire, it clears the underbrush and purifies everything it comes in contact with. The cross is the only way through the darkness. It is a beacon in the night.
I sense some peace entering here, or maybe a quiet acceptance, a soft sadness at the way things are, compared to the way the self truly desires to be. The discouragement of returning to Confession time and time again with one's habitual sins, the longing for "the grace of ever-yes", so evocative of Mary. Yet the self doesn't seem to be fighting as much; some knowledge has been gained. There is, perhaps, a kind of sad farewell to what one has known, before the final "outstrung thread" is severed.
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Yes, fmn, before now we have tried (in subtle and not-so-subtle ways) to avoid the cross when we could, or at least lacked the courage to embrace it fully. Now at last we see that the cross is the answer. Christ says to each of us from the Cross, "THIS is the Way. THIS is the Truth."
And, as Gabrielle pointed out, we are not fighting as much. We are beginning to understand that the truth doesn't lie in our understanding or our grasp of things, and the "outstrung thread" of our our vision of things we will soon allow to be severed, as we abandon ourselves in trust.
We seem to have nothing to hold on to, no light to guide us, yet the flame within us keeps us reaching toward Him we cannot see, and we sense that if we keep pressing on, we will see at last. But it is hard, because we know here that, although we have tried to free ourselves by thoroughly honest confessions, there is in us still labyrinths of sinfulness that we cannot even identify. This would cause us to despair, were it not for the cross, and the certainty of His love for us.
The soul sees that all it once thought of as spiritual "progress" is nothing, and that the cross is all that matters.
HE matters. REDEMPTION matters. LOVE matters. But our thinking and planning does NOT matter.
I think He honors our thinking and planning greatly, tho'. He doesn't need it, but loves it.
Perhaps we run to the Cross because the Eucharist is not enough anymore. He's too far away, even There, because we cannot be united with Him in the Eucharist around the clock, but we can be united with Him in/at the Cross, always.
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Honora, the last part of your comment is very interesting. An answer may be in a new communion hymn I've been hearing in church these days: "In your silence".
I think of you every time I hear it because you often use expressions like "wrapped around the foot of the Cross".
A quick, unworthy translation:
In your silence I welcome the
mystery which has come to live in me.
You have come to me, Lord,
or maybe it's more true that
it is YOU who are welcoming ME.
A living spring arises in my heart, this is the gift which is living in me.
Your presence is a fire of love that is wrapped around my soul, my Lord.
Now your Spirit in me calls out "Father",
it is not I who speak, it is You.
In the infinite ocean of peace,
you live in me and I in you, Oh Lord.
Yes, honora; when we can do nothing else, we can always suffer, and love. He suffered for us; we suffer for Him.
But we know He is with us always, even beyond the Eucharist. He remains with us, enlivens us; His Spirit calls out "Father" from deep within us. If He were not with us, we would cease to be. And if He were not active within us, we would cease to pray. But we are praying always, are we not? Do we not act always as His children, ask Him constantly for help, offer all things to Him, thank Him for all that comes to us? If we do all things under His gaze, we are praying always.
He seems far from us (especially in the darkness), but if He were not near, we would not keep walking. He is precisely in the place where it seems He is not - always, He is at the very bottom where it seems He cannot be. So no matter how far down we fall, He is already there, waiting to catch us and help us up.
Mercy always bends down to the lowest, so the lower we are, the more securely we are helped by Mercy.
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(Pardon..I'm going to make a children's poem out of that one.)
Ah, 'soft sadness'.. One can live with a soft sadness. One can live with the hard ones, too.
Somewhere within centering prayer once, at an RCIA retreat which a Sister led, I had called Him, "Abba." I'd no more dreamed of ever doing that than of levitating. :-) It was nice. But I've always known He is Abba. The Paraclete gives that knowing, as Christ told us He would. God's most Personal clarities unfurl quietly.
I think that if we all learned to call out "Abba" in the Spirit, the world would be an entirely different place.
But, alas, we do not know Him as Father, much less as "Daddy." When we spend time in silence with Him, as true children, we are changed. And nothing looks the same ever again.
Yes, and thus, working the Stations is to breathe in the world's hatred, but always to find kind faces if not also hands, while suffocating right into Life.
Beautifully said, yet again.
The truth is always beautiful, no matter how poorly stated ;-)
I think often of the truth that Christ transformed every cruelty into gift. Only hearts renewed by His love can continue to transform acts of cruelty, hatred and death into moments of grace, love and life, every day, in the silence within which we offer all to Him.
The mystery of grace, the mystery of love, is never any less mysterious, even as it becomes more simple.
As mysterious as the mystery of Breath. Where does it go when it leaves the body, for it seems to me we exhale the Great inhalation, while inhaling the Great exhalation. Isn't that why we love the feel of another's breath, or a gentle breeze. Isn't that why we, after carried in water, and delivered back into Life via water, are allowed to breathe Air?
Really, really..I NEED to be busier! :-) Stop musing me, for Heaven's sake, with all your beauty.
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Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Clap on! , Clap off! clap@#&$NO CARRIER
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Good job!
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
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Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Beam me aboard, Scotty..... Sure. Will a 2x10 do?
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg.
Please write anything else!
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates 81
Hello all!
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Beam me aboard, Scotty..... Sure. Will a 2x10 do?
Clap on! , Clap off! clap@#&$NO CARRIER
What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates 81
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
All generalizations are false, including this one.
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When there's a will, I want to be in it.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Clap on! , Clap off! clap@#&$NO CARRIER
Save the whales, collect the whole set
All generalizations are false, including this one.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
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